Chocolate, Photographs, and Speedos
by weirfan
Summary: Rodney, Radek, and bad photos. My entry for the mcweir ficathon on livejournal SPOILERS: Small reference to Duet and use of S2 characters


A/N: Written for the mcweir ficathon on LJ, I had to write a story with the four specifications; a mouse, an embarrassing photograph, Zelenka wering a bathsuit, and M/W, hope this qualifies.

Chocolate, Photographs, and Speedos

It had been two months since Elizabeth and Rodney had begun dating; they had been friends for over three years and had been a little stubborn about admitting their true feelings for each other. It had taken the combined efforts of Major Lorne and Teyla to set them up.

That had been a long week, Elizabeth thought to herself, trying to concentrate on her paperwork. She was distracted from her thoughts by an angry scientist approaching her office.

"Elizabeth," he shouted as he walked in.

"What can I do for you, Radek?" she asked looking up at him.

"I want all my chocolate and my photo back, now," he demanded.

Elizabeth raised an eyebrow at him with a confused look on her face. "I don't know what you're talking about," she said earnestly.

"Don't you? Rodney!" he exclaimed slamming his hands on her desk.

"What about Rodney?" she asked with a combination of surprise and confusion on her face.

"You really don't know," he stated with a calmer tone.

"No," she said, "Care to explain?"

"Rodney has been blackmailing me with a certain photograph for a while and now I have no more chocolate, and you're probably the only person that can make him stop," Radek explained. "Please, Elizabeth, I need that photograph and Rodney can keep the chocolate," he begged.

Elizabeth thought for a moment after his explanation then finally replied. "What I don't understand is, why didn't you come to me sooner about this?" she asked.

"I don't know, but I can't stand it anymore," he said looking down.

"You do realize that you two can be such children sometimes, and you should be dealing with this by yourself, but I will help you out just this once," she said.

"Thank you! I owe you big time," he said happily.

"So, what exactly is so bad about this photo, that you're embarrassed?" she ask him.

"Just something," he replied blushing a little.

"It would help that I know what's in it so I would know what I'm looking for."

"Well, you see...I was...trying on a speedo...and a little drunk, I kissed a lab mouse," he replied slowly, his face very red now.

"That's...very interesting," Elizabeth said arching her eyebrow. "And you said Rodney has a photo of that?"

"Yes," he said softly. "We were also experimenting with ancient cameras at the time the photographs were taken."

"Wait a minute, there are more photos than the one you're asking me for?" she asked confused.

"Yeah, there's some of Rodney in his speedo, which I have no idea where those are or I would be able to take care of this myself."

"Rodney has a speedo?" Elizabeth asked with a little evidence of blushing, on her face.

"Of course he does, what else would you two swim in at your midnight swims that he's told me about?"

If Elizabeth's face was red before, it was nothing compared to now. "Right...of course," she stammered.

"Oohhh, I see what you're saying. You two don't wear bathing suits because you skinny dip, don't you? " he said in sudden realization.

"What?" Elizabeth asked confused.

"Don't worry your secret is safe with me," and with that Radek walked out of the office leaving behind a shocked and flushed Elizabeth.

0x0x0x0x0

"So, Radek knows about our midnight swims?" Rodney asked Elizabeth, sitting at a table with her in the mess hall, hours after she had talked to Radek.

"Apparently he found out from you," she replied popping a beet from her salad into her mouth after she said that.

"He did? Well, I guess I might have let something slip about 'us'," he said forking his own salad.

"What else does he know about 'us'?" she asked, now spooning her jello.

"He knows there is an 'us', but who doesn't? It's the rumor mill's fault," he said quickly and started eating his salad.

"They do come up with a lot of things, don't they?" she smiled thinking of one she heard recently.

"What did you hear?" Rodney asked, knowing that that smile meant she had heard something interesting.

"I heard someone saying that I skinny dip with Ronan Dex," raising an eyebrow as she said it.

"With Ronan?" Rodney scoffed, "that's just silly, who the heck came up with that?"

"I don't know, I thought it was pretty interesting though," she said clearly amused at his response.

"Aren't they all?" he asked a little amused. "I've heard one once, that you were dating Teyla and I was dating Colonel Caldwell."

"Who came up with that?" Elizabeth asked laughing.

"I think it was Radek," he replied.

"Why do you think it was him?"

"He's pretty mad at me right now," Rodney said.

"Is it maybe because you're blackmailing him?" she asked seriously.

"How did you know?"

"He came to see me earlier about that."

"Oh?" Rodney prodded.

"I already took care of it. Honestly Rodney, you two act like children sometimes and

shouldn't be blackmailing each other," Elizabeth said a little firmly.

"Which photo did you give him?" he asked.

"The one with him in his speedo and the mouse, that you left in my quarters," she replied.

"The one I left in your quarters?" he asked.

"Yes, that one. You seem to leave lots of your things in my quarters, you might as well move in," she joked. Rodney smiled at that.

"Oh no, this isn't good," Rodney suddenly said.

"What isn't?" Elizabeth asked confused.

"That photo, I concealed another behind it and if Radek finds it than I'm in big trouble," he replied.

"What exactly is on the concealed photo that you're so worried about?" she asked.

"It's this photo with me in a speedo and let's just say that it's not pretty," he said turning a little red.

"Oh Rodney, it can't be that bad, I've seen more of you than that," Elizabeth nudged him playfully.

"Well, it was taken quite a ways back and I had a different figure than the one you're used to," he said quietly.

"Lets just hope that Radek doesn't find it and it will be fine," she said reassuringly.

"If he finds it, knowing him, he'll probably do something terrible with it."

"Rodney, don't worry so much about it, you'll be fine," Elizabeth said rolling her eyes.

Teyla and Major Lorne had just entered the mess hall and walked towards the table Rodney and Elizabeth sat at.

"Dr. Weir?" Telya addressed the older woman.

"Yes, Teyla?"

"Can we sit with you two?" the younger woman asked.

Elizabeth looked at Rodney with a questioning look and he just shrugged. "Sure," she replied gesturing to a couple of seats for Teyla and Major Lorne.

"How are things on the mainland?" Elizabeth asked Teyla as she finally sat down.

"Things are good, Marcus and I just came back from there," she replied gesturing to Major Lorne.

"How are the coffee trees coming along?" Rodney suddenly asked.

"Typical Doc, asking about the coffee," Marcus said rolling his eyes at Rodney.

"They're growing as we planned," Teyla answered.

"What did you plan exactly?" Rodney asked a little confused.

"She meant they're growing on schedule," Marcus replied.

"Okay, how long do you think it will be before I get a cup of coffee from them?" Rodney asked.

"Rodney, we just got a shipment of coffee from the Daeduleus a few days ago," Elizabeth interrupted.

"Yeah, I know, but what if we run out?" he asked not wanting to imagine the horror of that idea.

"Then you can drink something else until the Daeduleus came back with another shipment," she simply said.

Teyla and Marcus couldn't help but laugh at that. "What?" Rodney protested.

"Nothing, Dr. McKay," Teyla replied.

"You!" Marcus laughed, " you're just weird."

A few people at other tables in the mess hall began to laugh too. There was a marine that was pointing at Rodney and whispering into his companion's ear. "Is everyone laughing at me now?" Rodney asked the people at his own table.

Elizabeth was just about to reply to that when she was suddenly commed by Steven Caldwell.

"_Dr. Weir, we have a slight problem."_

"What is it Colonel?" she asked.

"_It's all the computer screens, they're displaying a very...unflattering image." _

"What image?" she asked curiously.

"_Look at the nearest laptop and see for yourself."_

As Elizabeth gestured to Rodney for his laptop, she heard a few more people in the mess hall laughing, as they were looking at their own laptops. She opened it up and with Rodney, Teyla, and Marcus standing behind her, they immediately saw what Colonel Caldwell was talking about. "WOW, I haven't seen that before," she said surprised by the image.

"That's more of you Doc, than I really wanted to see," Marcus commented.

"You do look a lot different ion this image then you do now," Teyla said pointing out the obvious.

"I take it he's still mad at you about that name you called him," Elizabeth said raising both her eyebrows.

"Yeah, I think so," Rodney agreed.

They were all looking at a photo of a chubbier Rodney, with a macho pose, in a speedo. A caption above it read: _This is for calling me 'Dr. Fumbles Mcstupid'_. Rodney knew at that point that he was never going to hear the end of this.


End file.
